Do you know how it’s like to be dying?

I was once a happy man. With a decent jobs and enough income. With caring family and a lovable friends.  Not that I’m a rich man, but hey, it’s not always about the money, elders used to say. It’s happiness that counts, whatever that means. Bottom line, I’m happy. Or at least, used to be.

I can’t seem to remember when did that happiness left the door in silence. Or maybe, it hadn’t been there all along. We human tends to pretend that we have something when in fact we don’t. Or maybe it’s something shallow, I don’t know, I haven’t figured it out yet.

It’s often said that we are what we feel, and now I feel empty. Funny because nothing much has changed for quite some time now. Even better, I got a better job, more encouraging work environment. Brothers and sisters, they seem to get better and better, we get along fine although we don’t talk much. It all goes the right way.

Now, why dying?

You know that feeling when it’s late at night, and you’re all alone in your own room, stared at your ceiling, buzz of thought cross your mind wildly yet you can’t concentrate on any of them. That feeling when you feel a sudden ache in your stomach and surge in your blood. And when for instance, everything goes dark, wild. Do you know what i mean?

Ah, well..

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